The Hotness/Coolness of Life

(excerpt from my journal entry dated January 19, 2012, a Thursday)

I think I had just about four hours of sleep last night. Sa natatandaan ko kagabi, the clock struck 4 a.m. bago ako tuluyang nakatulog. Tapos gumising ako ngayong 8 a.m.

Pero okay lang kasi I don’t feel sleepy. Kelangan lang siguro na hindi na muna ako magbasa ng libro o ng kahit na anong babasahin para hindi ako antukin. Napapagod kasi agad mata ko e. I need to be alert and awake sa drive ko sa Ortigas.

Naisip ko, is there a way para mapalakas ang mata? As in, lumakas ang resistensya ng mata? Ah yeah…naalala ko ulit yung Tiger Eyes na exercise sa Tai chi. I must remember to do that.

Malamig pa rin ang panahon. Okay lang naman kasi hindi naman uncomfortable yung lamig. Tama lang.

Sa Amerika daw, obserbasyon ng mga tao, mas maikli ang winter season at mas mahahaba yung iba. I remember sabi sa “Jewel in the Palace,” mas maganda daw na sobrang lamig ang winter (hindi lang ako sigurado kung sinabi din dun na mas okay din na mas mahaba ang winter). Kasi, kung hindi daw gaano malamig ang winter, mas madami daw ang sakit na kumakalat sa panahon ng tag-init. Or something to that effect.

In a way, it’s like we’re bound or highly affected by temperature in this life. This physical body is subject to it.

Sa Judeo-Christian tradition, hell is one very hot place. Sa mga Muslim naman, hell is one very cold place. I don’t know which is correct or whether I should concern myself with it. Sa alam ko, spiritual bliss is not affected by temperature (or any other physicality, for that matter).

I mean, sabi ko nga dati, you can’t really go to a very nice place and call it “heaven” when you know for a fact that you will be worrying later how much money it would cost you. Or if you’re suffering from arthritis or rayuma or any other debilitating(?) weakness that affects your physical sensation. Angganda nga ng lugar. Sarap sana mag-trekking. Kaya lang, ansakit naman ng tuhod mo. Nasan ang “heaven” dun?

Real Heaven/Paradise has got to be in the spiritual realm! Where no one goes hungry or gets sick, or at least feels hot or cold beyond comfort.

Siguro what happens after we die is that all our thoughts, all our sensations get confined or reduced to a very manageable level. Kaya basta patay ka na, kahit chop-chopin pa ang katawan mo, ok lang siguro. Hindi mo na naman siguro mararamdaman yun. (Although, of course, I could be wrong—ahehe).

Now, if you’re condemned to hell, well, you get to retain the physical sensations—temperature, pain, emotional suffering—and it’s either these are magnified many times over, or the horrors of hell are simply just staggering compared to those in this life. I don’t know…

Sa art, may ganun din—hot and cool colors. But honestly, I don’t concern myself with that pagdating sa pagpe-painting ko. Mas namu-move pa ako sa “temperature” at “colors” na napo-produce ng music. But then, all these are memory-hinged, I’d like to maintain that. Medyo steeped sa memory or cultural conditioning na lang siguro kapag nagre-react tayo ng “Wow, that’s hot!” or “Cool!”

Naalala ko yung pelikulang “Back to the Future.” Sabi ng character ni Michael J. Fox na si Marty Mcfly (in reaction to Doc Brown), “That’s heavy!” Ibig sabihin, “nice” or “awesome.” Tapos sumagot si Doc Brown ng, “What’s the matter with gravity in the future? Everything’s gone heavy.” Or something to that effect.

I wonder if in the future, our descendants would study us and comprehend what we meant when we said, “That’s hot!” or “That’s cool!” or “You’re so baaaaad!” or “You’re so wicked!” Or yung mga kolehiyala pag sinabi nilang “Ansama mo!” pero nakangiti sila, tapos kukurutin ka nila sa pisngi kasi nanggigigil sila sa ka-kyutan mo, hayup ka! Ahehe.

And if there comes a time in the future when cities and communities would be living under glass globes and everything—temperature, the seasons, the brightness of the sun or the dark of night, the amount of rain or snow, all these things—would be regulated, I wonder, whoever’s in charge of regulating them—how would he/she/they go about it? Based din sa memory nila? Or based sa mga scientific studies on the Goldilock’s effect—not too hot, not too cold, nor too detrimental nor comforting so as to spoil the persistence of the species, etc. Hmm…..