The Stuff of Dreams

(my journal entry dated April 19, 2012, a Thursday)

It’s amazing how yesterday I wrote about dreams and how I perceive them to be, and then last night, or rather, just this morning, I woke up from a dream of watching the Beatles performing songs that I’ve never heard before.

I dreamed I was watching TV, and on it was some sort of a Beatles special featuring all their videos, and one after another, I heard songs that were unfamiliar to me. But they were very good, really, so good that I was watching intently so as to know the title of each song, except the screen didn’t show them.

So when I woke up, I was wondering what the hernia those songs were, and then I realized, could it be there were no such Beatles songs? That the songs I heard were actually “originals,” and that if only I had the musical sense to remember them in writing, I could have made the songs my own and pass them off as my own compositions?

Sayang. Anggaganda pa naman ng mga kanta.

Now I know how Guiseppe Tartini felt when he woke up from that dream which inspired the composition of his “Devil’s Trill” sonata. He dreamed the devil was his slave, and so he asked it to play for him the most beautiful violin music, and the devil complied. Upon waking up, Tartini was able to write down only those that he remembered, but in his dream, the devil’s performance and music were so much more superb.

Fortunately after that, I drifted into sleep again, and in a matter of minutes (or seconds?), I dreamed again, and in it I heard a melody, and when I woke up, I remembered it. It was 6:30 in the morning, which is way early for my regular waking time. Lacking the technical facility (I don’t know how to write or read notes!), I just had to get up already and play the melody on my guitar before I completely forgot it. I had to make my fingers remember, at least.

Doing that, I somehow got a glimpse of how dreams work.

You see, the other day I was singing karaoke with my cousin Kuya Jing, and I sang Toto’s “Africa.” I also remember Jessica Sanchez’ performance of Jazmine Sullivan’s “Stuttering” on American Idol, and then there’s this other song I was listening to sometime ago (I forget now what it was). Somehow, all those songs were in my head for the last couple of days, and then, in my dream—voila!—they merged! Elements of each song merged together to form a distinct melody!

Wow! It’s just like this idea that came to me that I’ve been toying with in the last couple of years. In the dream state, we have a set (or sets?) of “realities”—our physical realities, our past realities, our desires and fears, etc.—that merge or conform or transpose into each other. And the manner they do this, or the manner that this happens, is “guided” or “abides by” some kind of “logic” that is just perfectly acceptable to us in the dream state.

We don’t question them at all, they just occur and we just react. We allow ourselves to be taken where our dreams lead us. The fight-or-flight ability is still with us there, but it seems we have little control over it (unless, of course, you are lucid dreaming—which I think is about being conscious of the fact that you ARE dreaming, and you can control your reactions and even the very content of your dream).

It (lucid dreaming) has happened to me several times already. Once I was being chased by an aswang, and I realized I was in the dream state, so I decided to fly to get away. Another time, I was wandering about, realized I was in the dream state, and then decided to fly (again!) and enter people’s houses and gardens with impunity, etc.

There was another time when I was flying in a dream, and to make it more fun, I “added” zombies chasing after me on the ground below, just to make the dream more “exciting.” Ahehe.

Ah yes, I also had dream “layers” wherein I dreamed I was in a dream in a dream in a dream (sort of like in the movie “Inception”)—and I was aware of them all! Hehe. Freddie Krueger, kiss my arse! Ahehe.

Dreams like those rarely happen to me now, if at all. Who knows when they’d occur? I’m just glad over the gift of the melody this morning.

Now, more than ever, am I realizing that there is definitely more than one way to perceive the realities of this life. Just as there are myriad ways with which things happen, logic (or logical thinking) as we know it has got a lot—and I mean A LOT!—of evolving to do.

Radio gaga

(my journal entry dated November 28, 2011, a Wednesday)

Good morning! Sa inyo, sa inyo, at higit sa lahat, sa inyo. Ahehe. No, I’m not really in a good mood this morning. It’s just that I wanted a more “alive” introduction, and what else is more fitting, right? It’s past 5 a.m. I feel like a radio disc jockey. Except of course I’m writing this down instead of saying this on the mic. Hmm…how do I start the morning show, that is if I were indeed a dj? Hmm….

I’d start with a bit of Gregorian chant. Hey, this is my show, ok? I know, I know. Andaming matu-turn off. Ayaw na makinig. E parang Johnny Midnight lang naman yun e. Except syempre Gregorian Chant is not new age. Pang-relax lang ba (hmm…kakagising lang, tapos relax?) or pangpa-perspective(?) or pampakalma ng utak after being awakened by a most “distressing” alarm clock.

San na nga kaya si Johnny Midnight? Still alive? Yata. Napanood ko ata siya sa TV just last year. Naging fan kasi ni Nanay, ay mali pala. Naging fan ni Johnny Midnight (JM from here on) si Nanay dati e. That was in the early ‘80s. Madaling araw pa lang (or was it midnight?) gising na si Nanay and nakatutok na sa radyo. Meron din syang pyramid. Actually, dalawa yun. Yung isa, assembled from metal rods na kulay chrome yellow (or was it gold?), and the other one (which was much smaller) was made of cardboard na pwedeng isuot sa ulo na parang sumbrero.

Looking back at it now, nakakatawa. Pero, again, may senti kaunti. It’s part of your growing up years, syempre. May parang mantra (o dasal?) pa nga noon na nire-recite si JM. “Ako ang buhay, punlaaaa ng Lumikhaaaa….” Tapos susundan ng kanta ni Kuh Ledesma na “Bulaklak.” Ahehe.

Minsan, pag sobrang aga ako nagigising, pinapainom ako ni Nanay ng “toning” water. Whoa! Ngayon ko lang na-realize na yung “toning-toning” na sinasabi nila ay “toning,” as in the English word na “toning” (tow-ning), as in getting one’s body “toned” (tama ba?). Or was it “tuning,” as in getting your body “attuned” with the universe? Parang yung Buddhist chanting na ginagawa ni Tina Turner? “Ohmmmm….” Yung sa Beatles na kanta na “Across the Universe”? “Jai guru, deva…ohmmm…nothing’s gonna change my world….” Ahehe.

Of course, later on, when JM got passé, Nanay went on to El Shaddai. Again, early morning din, pero more charismatic Christian/Catholic naman. May programs talaga sa radio, pero ang naaalala ko talaga yung pagdating ng 6 a.m., pinapatugtog yung “Glory glory allelujah…In truth we’re marching on….” Senti na naman.

Si Nanay kasi ma-radyong tao yun. Nagluluto, naglalaba, namamalantsa, naka-radyo yun. And that was even before FM radio became popular, before pa naging Ingglisero at Ingglisera ang mga disc jockeys. I think.

Naaalala ko ang boses nila Helen Vela tsaka Tiya Dely. Para sakin, voice of reason sila e. Gabay ng mga tao. Ewan ko ba. Parang noon kasi, sila yung guide ng mga nanay noon. E ngayon, sino guide ng mga tao? Mga korning DJ. Ewan.

Just now, naririnig ko sa isip ko yung kanta ng Tatlong Pinoy (or was it Tatlong Itlog?). “Huwag kang tatanga-tanga…pagkat walang ospital sa taong tanga….” I remember this song kasi my kindergarten classmate used to dance to this. Ahehe. Home-grown talaga ang humor ng mga tao noon e. Tsaka ang galling ng timing. But enough of that…what’s next on my playlist?

Hmm…probably a couple of Bach or Mozart, and then Sim City 4 soundtrack. Yeah! Depende sa mood. Like if it’s not raining in the morning, Sim City 4 is cool. Pero kung maulan, pwedeng bossa nova. Talaga namang kina-career ang pagiging dj e. Ahehe.

It’s 6 a.m. already. I feel like going to the bathroom already. Nakaka-CR din kasi minsan ang pagse-senti. Ahehe. Is that Freudian? Eto naman kasing si Freud, may mga stages pa daw na oral, anal, etc. Ewan ko sayo. Last two lines na. I’ll finish up with a couple of lines from a favorite commercial jingle. “Rufina Patis, Rufina Patis…patis na may uring kataas-taasan. Ang patis Rufina’y pampalinamnam….” Yeah! Chapter!