Oldies

(my journal entry dated May 1, 2012, a Tuesday)

For a long time, I’ve been thinking about growing old and how much of the things we dearly hold on to do we compromise in the process, and last night, the urge to write it down was drummed on me when we were watching the Ugat concert on TV. It featured classic Pinoy rock bands from the 1970s to early 1980s era, and it felt weird in a way, watching them aging rock stars “rock” the stage and how “compromised” they have become (because of their age?) and yet “uncompromising” they remain.

Pepe Smith, Sampaguita, Wally Gonzales…. I asked Kuya Jing if he ever fantasized about having Sampaguita or Pepe Smith for a grandparent, and all he said was it would probably be cool, and I thought so, too. I mean, there’s probably an extra dimension to them that would make their grandparenting way way different from that of most grandparents.

And then I wondered how they live these days. Do they wear regular grandparent clothes around the house? I mean, this is the Philippines. They probably wear regular clothes most of the time now that they’ve yielded the spotlight to younger rock artists…unlike Steven Tyler, I guess. But then you think, Steven Tyler is on American Idol and listening and critiquing pop (read: conformist) music, which I doubt he would have done in his younger days and at the height of his rockstardom.

Come to think of it, just how have life and growing old made them compromise on things? I mean, one minute you’re blasting everyone away on the electric guitar, and then the next, you’re changing diapers or preparing milk bottles for your babies, or any of those “uncool” stuff that ordinary mortals do (or are pictured to do).

Metallica’s James Hetfield admitted to changing the diapers of his kids. And just the other night, on Youtube, Metallica and Guns n’ Roses (on separate occasions) were jamming with Fergie (of the Black Eyed Peas), and down in the comments section below the videos, you could read diehard fans disappointed over the “compromise.”

But then, time has a way of toning things down, and listening to Metallica and Guns n’ Roses over and over again all these years has somehow made them less shocking, less rebellious, more mainstream and more and more belonging to the era of the “oldies” stuff which young people of every generation (not everyone, though) think baduy.

Just now, I remember a classmate of mine related to us how much he hated this teacher back in graduate school, and he got into an argument with the teacher who told him how he (our classmate) was talking out of his hat, and our classmate retorted with a “Yeah? Well, you’re old and you’re dying.” And I thought it was funny because…what was he thinking? Did he think he wouldn’t grow old? Did he think he was not going to die someday?

At the height of their youth and power and life, most young people think that way. Or at least, they are inclined to. No thought of death. No thought of compromising. No thought of ever needing others to get on with this world. Notwithstanding aging relatives who, upon seeing you again after a long time, exclaim, “Well, I remember you when you were still this small and I used to wash you after you made poo-poo all over the place!” Just imagine, you, the uncompromising “immortal,” at one time needing someone to wash you, and—you made poo-poo all over the place? How sooo NOT cool was that?

I guess the lesson here is not to be that overreaching when it comes to being uncompromising inasmuch as public image is concerned. With all our frailties, us being human, to think otherwise all the time is sheer folly.

By all means, have strength of will. By all means, have strength of character. But as to the physicality of this life, why hold on too much? Whether we like it or not, it gets taken away. We get weary. Slowly but surely, we are outran.

Very few people these days get to grow up with grace, AND grow old with grace. Perhaps a period of rebelliousness every now and then should suffice, but always and ever, there should be a willingness to accept and embrace the responsibilities and consequences thereof. THAT is grace, I think.