Average vs. Special

(excerpts from my journal entries dated November 21 and 23, 2011, merged )

I’m writing crap now. I don’t know…perhaps it’s because I feel I’m doing this [journal writing] out of obligation. I guess I’m writing with a clear head. Empty. As opposed to a lucid head, which has seen the light. Get it?

Pag empty head, kung ano na lang ang pumasok sa isip ko, yun na lang din ang isinusulat ko. Kahit nga walang kwenta. Pag lucid head naman, ibig sabihin I have stumbled upon a topic which I get to expound on quite easily—as in nagpo-flow lang yung mga thoughts ko on paper. 


Just like right now, I guess. Nagpo-flow lang ang mga thoughts ko on a topic, i.e. empty head vs. lucid head. Which is funny, because a while ago, I was writing with an empty head, now I’m writing with a lucid head. I guess nakaka-unblock nga talaga ng creativity itong journal writing.

Now, I don’t know which is better. Or healthier: Having an empty head or a lucid head? “Healthier,” kasi pag lucid head, medyo may “perking up,” and your senses are more “in tune” or “revved up.” Although siyempre it’s seemingly healthier that way, may health benefits din naman pag empty head. Ibig sabihin, mas laid back ang utak mo. Relaxed lang. Hindi man “hyper,” hindi rin naman stressed.

Ganun kaya mag-isip kapag average thinker ka lang? As in kung ano lang ang dumating sa buhay mo, tsaka ka lang nagre-react? As in hindi ka compelled to “create” something for everyone else to react to? Walang vision or ambition sa hinaharap—basta makatawid lang sa pang-araw-araw?

May genius din kaya sa ganung klase ng thought processing? As in, “I’m an average thinker, pero I stand out among average thinkers”? Now, what could they be like? Hmmm… And how do their geniuses manifest? I mean, if you’re average, doesn’t it follow that you’re thinking just like the next average person?  That you’re thinking just like everybody else? And if you’re the status quo, just how do you stand out?

Well, syempre we’ll have to consider the other intelligences, sabi nga ni Howard Gardner. Like, a lot of people ridicule Manny Pacquaio’s language skills, but then there are also those who say he’s a genius in boxing. But then, my concern here is, may genius ba sa pag-iisip with average thinking? In other words, is there genius in average thinking?

Ano nga yung rule ni Napoleon sa “Animal Farm” ni George Orwell? “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal…”? So, ibig sabihin, meron pa din stand out? So, pag pinagsama-sama mo sa isang isla ang lahat ng average thinkers, someone or some group of people among them are bound to assume the role of geniuses?

Hmm… Destiny na naman ba ito? Like, since there’s a need for it, is it destiny that leads a chosen few to found religions? To found philosophies out of necessity? To create works of genius out of necessity?

Or baka naman wala talagang taong pinanganak na “average”? I mean, all are “average” in many ways, pero deep inside, each of us is special? Kelangan lang ng right coaxing or stimuli para lumabas yung drama, then para lumabas yung “uniqueness”—yung genius? That’s a nice thought. Thank you, God, for the nice thought.

Naalala ko yung sinabi ng isang Herbalife distributor: “Hindi mo kasalanan kung ipinanganak kang mahirap. Pero kung mamatay kang mahirap, kasalanan mo na yun.” He’s right.

Pero kung ipa-paraphrase mo iyong quote na yun, at papalitan mo ng “hindi special” yung word na “mahirap” (as in, “Hindi mo kasalanan kung ipinanganak kang hindi special…”), it works also, right?


In other words, not everyone is born special, but if this life passes by without you amounting to anything “special”…well, geez, I don’t know who to blame. Life is so much more complicated when it comes to discussions on our roles to fill up in this world. Are there individual plans for each of us? A Divine Plan for all? Go figure.

But when we die, would we have lived and fulfilled a life of special purpose? Or is it all just in vain, sabi nga ni Qoheleth? I’m not sure about so many things, except siguro lately I’m realizing it’s not so wise to pass judgments on people. Although, of course, I wonder up to what extent we can be “special” without passing judgments on anyone or anything. Maybe it’s in the manner we see things. Or maybe it’s in the manner we say things, I suppose.

If I were God (with infinite understanding), would I condemn anyone to hell? Well, siguro some I would “barbecue” a little. Like the Abu Sayaff. Ahehe. But then, I think I’d take them out of the fire eventually. Siguro pag medium rare na sila. Ahehe. Ewan. Life is so … weird. Chapter!